Kelsey: Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom?

In my newsfeed the other day, the above quote, stuck out at me like a sore thumb. I’m not 18 and it has been three years, not months, since I had to ask permission to go to the bathroom. But what this quote means to me is that people expect you to turn 18 and have your whole life figured out. You’re an adult now and you have to know what you want to do in your life.

I witnessed this kind of conversation on Facebook last week when my boyfriend posted his GoFundMe he set up to raise money to attend the Fire Science Academy at SCTI. People were questioning his motives and his decisions: why did he choose such an expensive school when there are cheaper ones nearby? Why didn’t he wait to find out if he would ever leave Florida before earning a state certification? Why wouldn’t he move to the other coast for school if he thought he might end up there?

The answer to all of those questions is the same, and it is quite simple: because he doesn’t know where life with take him. And how can you expect him to know that? You don’t expect to be able to read the future, but you are expected to have some idea of what your twenties will be like. And those same people are also telling you that your twenties are for exploration, adventure and risks before real life hits you (a mortgage, car payments, children, etc.). So which is it? Are your twenties supposed to be a roller coaster you jump on and ride wherever it takes you or are you supposed to plan every single move and do everything in your power to have answers to everyone’s questions?

How does this relate to my summer internship? Because I don’t know where I will end up after. I have been applying and interviewing for weeks and yet I am still not sure where I will be. I am the kind of person who likes to know how things will end up. I like to have a plan. I am constantly reevaluating my life–just ask my mom–she has sat through many I-need-to-figure-out-my-life  conversations.

I would love, more than anything, to stay at Boca Raton Magazine, but they are fully staffed right now. I can honestly say I have had the best internship experience with them. I learned so much about magazine publishing and hope to bring those skills to a publication in Florida. I still have two weeks left, which seems too crazy to be true, but I am going to make the most out of them.

I hope the next time I write that I have something career-related to update on. But for now, I am going to figure out what my twenties mean to me. I don’t want to look back at this decade and wonder what I was doing.

“Enjoy yourself. That’s what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons. Your 40s are to pay for the drinks.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City